THis is where it all goes horribly wrong...

Holding back the tears, i loath that feeling. Ive always been the 'cry baby' the 'sensitive one' so i try, hard to not show any feelings and it just makes me sick inside. So did weigh in, i new i was fat, i new that somehow in the last year i had given up the fight of trying to get under 200 lbs and got over 300. But now up to 314.4. Yay me. I have stuck pretty strictly to the Organic Liaison plan. Although my calorie intake hasn't been as high as they say. Funny thing happens when you get fatter, it gets harder and harder to do stuff. Its not just like 'well I'm fat, I'm 245 things are tough so whats a few more pounds' NO NO NO, things get tougher. Walking turns into waddling, breathing heavy turns into gasping for air. So now, I'm doing the eating thing much much better but I'm left with the fact that i cant work out for more that 10 minutes at a time. I want to work hard but physically cant. Oh and im a memeber of 2 gyms that im to embarrased to workout at and the ONLY way to cancel a membership is to go in to cancel. Nothing more fun than a fat girl cancelling her gym membership. This is so bizarre and doesn't feel like me, how the F&#k did i get here!?!?